Everyone has them, the things that other parents say that make your teeth grind and let’s face it can really put you off some people. But what are mine? Which ones, am I embarrassed to say, I’ve said?
Well, I can guarantee you will read this and agree with at least one of the things and realise that just maybe we are similar… Hey, if we are then we can be lifelong friends!!!
1) “I’m babysitting the kids”
Mostly used by other dads, but I have heard a few mums use this as well. Let me point out NO! you do not babysit your own kids!!! They are yours, if your spouse goes out leaving you alone in the house with the children, that my friends, is parenting! If they are yours, you cannot babysit!
2) “Oh no, it’s the police, if you don’t stop misbehaving, they’ll come and arrest you”
NO! Why do we think it’s ok to put the fear of God into our children and make them think that the police will arrest them? The police are part of the emergency services. They are there to help you, unless of course you are a criminal. We should be teaching our children that the police are there to help and are safe people.
For example, your child gets lost. Who are they going to go to for help? Not the police if they think they are going to lock them up in a cell!!!
3) “Oh he/she is so clever they are going to be a (insert job title here) when they grow up”
Do we think it’s appropriate to label our kids at such an early age? Or put pressure on them to aim to be a doctor when all they really want to do is art? Let your children decide in their own time what they would like to be. I remember always thinking I would be a paramedic, or a nurse but my life didn’t go that way. Am I sad about it, no. am I happy, yes!
4) “I know it’s not my place, but…”
If you think it’s not your place, I have good news for you. It isn’t! So whatever useful titbit of advice you are going to imbue on me don’t! I seriously doubt that you take any advice if it comes with a caveat of “I know it’s not my place, but…” as it just doesn’t come with good intentions. It is usually something hyper-critical, so save us all and keep it to yourself!
5) “Okay, I will leave you here then”
You know the scene, you are in the supermarket, your child wants something that you have said no to and then they have kicked off, they are rolling around on the floor hands and feet flailing about. You are hot and sweaty, and you are clinging onto your last nerve by a thread, and then the words come out “Okay, I will leave you here then”
Let’s break the situation down.
Your child is struggling to regulate, you have said no to something they want in that moment. They are now also struggling with their emotions. At this point there’s two options 1) say the words and lose your rag, or 2) connect with your child, guide them through the emotions they are feeling. Identify them, name them and work through it together.
I know it’s not always that easy, but parenting isn’t! Get use to it.
6) “Do that again and we will see what happens”
What?! What is going to happen?! Nothing! This is an empty threat, and the most important part of that is it’s a threat! You are threatening your child!!! Why? Will it calm a situation? Will it ease the overwhelming desire for you to scream? NO, it will be responded to with a game of 1001 questions “What will happen?” “Will I be grounded?” “Are you going to take my Xbox off me?”
It solves absolutely nothing! Stop it!
This is closely followed by number 7….
7) “Just you wait until we get home, and we shall se what your Dad has to say about it”
I must admit I have said this one, and on reflection I feel stupid each time I have said it. Not only will you get the 1001 question game, much like number 6, but you are shifting responsibility, you are relinquishing your job as a parent, you have turned into the person who, will no doubt, start saying number 1! Just to clarify I have never said number 1!
8) “That’s not how we do it in our house”
Nice and simple. No, no it isn’t but who cares?!
9) “Don’t be such a girl” or “don’t be such a baby”
Usually said to boys by dads this little nugget of wisdom passed down from generation to generation. When did it become a clever idea to label emotions as a girl’s thing? Or try and demean a boy by saying “don’t be such a girl” Girls are awesome, as we tell our son, they have done many a great thing, one of those things is brought your child into this world. If that isn’t amazing, then I don’t know what is. Put nice and simple, call me a girl… after all there is a reason they are known as the fairer sex!
10) “Oh, great that’s child friendly” or “no children allowed? Well, we won’t be attending”
Weddings for instance, is a day for two people to celebrate their love for each other, and let’s face it not everyone likes kids, or want them at their special day. Kids are by there very nature unpredictable. Imagine you take your child, and it turns into a number 5 situation! Then not only will you be embarrassed but you are also impacting on a special day.
Not everything in this world is designed for children, not everything has to be child friendly. It isn’t the worlds’ fault that you had children. So, no it is not okay for you to passive aggressively to state that its not child friendly. If you get invited to something, especially a wedding, do not assume you can bring your kids. Make alternative arrangements after all the invites would have named them.
Comments